The quiet kid experience was and is a common experience for many. Despite its commonality, I find that society seems to paint being less-talkative as some sort of issue. The contrast between being sociable and not at all, is due to the difference in how others treat and perceive you. This culture mainly begins young, starting in elementary school.
What is included in the quiet kid experience already establishes the concept of being othered, especially in a young child’s mind. Growing up, the quiet kid may have very few friends around them to connect with. In some instances, the kid may have no friends at all. Thus, furthering themselves into isolation along with a lack of social practice. Other young kids recognize how the quiet kid is separated from everyone else; their difference makes them stand out more than anybody. This inevitably causes bullying and getting picked on, while other children–and sometimes even the adults–make comments on the kid’s quiet nature. Constantly hearing the same remarks and apologetic lines from their parents, the kid will naturally grow up with the mindset that something is inherently wrong about them, and they have to change.
Symptoms and personality changes from the silence is also another aspect of the quiet kid experience. Due to likely being on their own, the kid becomes more absorbed within their own thoughts. After all, it’s where all the unspoken words roam wild. As a result, they may become more in-tune with themselves and more independent. This may also be the case as to why quieter children have a higher interest in creative hobbies such as art or music; It’s to have an outlet for the things they wish to say. Social awkwardness is an obvious symptom of being a quiet kid, but such kids end up being more observant than the average person. They were used to having a backseat to the unfamiliar world around them, which allowed them to notice things others probably wouldn’t, like how the sunlight through the windows illuminated the classroom, or how a classmate fidgets with their necklace whenever they’re really focused. They would never be too distracted from the beauty in small things.
In my own experience and others, the desire to fix ourselves was a frequent struggle when there was nothing in need of fixing. There is nothing wrong with keeping to yourself and mostly being talkative to those you are comfortable with. Quiet people are necessary in society in order to balance with the extroverted, completely opposite genre of people. Everyone needs that person in their life who always listens, is a source of comfort and is truly a safe space; The quiet kid is that person.
I love introverted, soft-spoken and quiet individuals so much that I will always be an advocate for expressing their importance in this world. They have always been some of the kindest souls I’ve ever encountered, and the most peaceful. This category of people share experiences and traits that I can connect with, and I believe that to be a beautiful thing. If you are someone who grew up as the quiet kid, or potentially still are one currently, my hope is that you do not force yourself to fit into a personality that is not yours at the core. You are wonderful just as you are, so never feel the need to change.
