I didn’t see this coming. I mean of course I didn’t, who knew there would be a worldwide pandemic resulting in a worldwide lockdown— except maybe the Simpsons. 

   During this whole thing, I have noticed things about myself that I rarely show around other people. I have realized I try to hide my true self in order to be deemed likable by the people in my life. Through realizing this, and other things, I am trying to be more open and true to myself.

   Although I have been starting to be the true me, this experience has mostly affected me negatively. My mental health has deteriorated so much to the point I have gone completely numb to almost everything. I miss being around people other than my family, and have lost all sense of time, and quite frankly maybe my mind. 

   School wise this has also been a disaster for me. From moving to a new school in the middle of the school year to doing it all online, in only a matter of a month of me being here. I didn’t get the chance to make close friends and be less scared to come back during the fall. Now I have to be the “new kid” all over again.

   Through this whole experience, despite the bad, I have learned self-confidence, and to not change myself to please others. I know who in my life is good for me and who in my life I don’t need. I have gained a newfound self-worth.

  Moving forward I will be more cautious and take better care of my health for the safety of myself and others. I will try to limit the number of people I hang out with, and try to only be around close friends. The hardest part of all might be trying not to be as touchy as I usually am, can’t take any risks.

My only concern is this will never end, and this will, unfortunately, become the new “normal”. Seeing as our government isn’t taking this as seriously as they should be, this will become another, “it’s done when we’re bored of it,” situation. Unfortunately, we might never get the old “normal” back, and we’ll just have to readjust as best as possible as case numbers rise, and we ignore it. The true American way.