Christmas is right around the corner, with just over a week until the big day! With that being said, Santa’s nine reindeer are gearing up for their annual trip around the world to deliver presents to all the children. Many people might argue that the reindeer are all equal and simply work together to fly Santa’s sleigh, however, I’m here to tell you there is an ideal ranking to the reindeer. I do believe every reindeer has their strengths, however some just have more weaknesses than others. Based on my expert opinion as a Christmas superfan, I give you the unofficial official reindeer ranking!
At number nine, we have Cupid. Now don’t get me wrong, she seems like a sweet girl, she was just given the wrong name. The name Cupid is strongly associated with Valentine’s Day, which is nearly two months after Christmas. Cupid seems like the type to appear as a shy gal, but in reality, be the life of the party, however, put her on aux and she’d probably start playing tragic love songs. Her placement on the sleigh is the second to last row on the left, tanking her score even more. Everyone knows that just like elementary school, the line leader and caboose are the best and coolest positions. When it comes to flying a sleigh, you want to have the fastest in the absolute front and the strongest in the back, to build momentum. Anywhere in between is honestly a filler, nothing too unique about it. Between a name based on a completely different holiday and a fairly basic spot in the lineup, Cupid boils down to a sweet, loving reindeer who just doesn’t have much going for her.
Next up, at number eight, our boy Donner. As far as placement goes, he’s in the far back with Blitzen, making him one of the strongest reindeer on Santa’s team. However, other than his strength, there is nothing too special to note (much like Cupid). Personality wise, Donner seems like the star of the football, baseball and basketball team whose ego is bigger than his head. Donner would see a freshman in the hallway, shove him into a locker and say “watch where you’re going freshman!” College admission officers would absolutely love Donner, offering full ride scholarships to the top D1 schools in all three sports he plays. Essentially, he seems like Puck on “Glee” who is a giant bully but has a huge redemption arc in the end, humbling him so much that he realizes it’s time for a change.
Taking number seven in the ranking is Comet. This boy just screams pick me, that’s really all there is to it. Comet comes off as someone who only cares about himself and is the furthest thing from a team player. If Comet were a person and his friend said, “Come on dude, we got to go!!,” he’d respond with, “We’ll leave when I’m ready, I have to finish gelling my hair!” Besides Rudolph, Comet is usually the second most popular name that people mention when asked to name a reindeer. Comet is the type to realize he’s popular and let that get to his head, which would result in all of his friends dropping him for being too cocky. On the sleigh, Comet is next to Cupid in the second to last row, aka the ‘filler’ spots (making him neither the strongest or fastest). When it comes down to it, Comet has the potential to be a chill reindeer with a super cool name, but chooses to live life believing he is the best.
This is when it starts getting more challenging, as all the ‘worst’ ones are done and now it’s just who is less mid and who has the biggest strengths.
In sixth place, Dasher, one of the fastest reindeer. Taking the front right spot on the sleigh, Dasher has the grit and stamina to run the whole show. She was given one of the most appropriate names on the whole team, portraying her speed but also her ego. Dasher seems like a girl with a kind heart, but when it comes to flying the sleigh, she likes to let everyone know she is up front for a reason. If Dasher was a person, she’d no doubt be captain of the varsity cross country and track team who everyone finds intimidating at first glance but later realizes is a girl’s girl at heart. Dasher is honestly just a misunderstood gal who can definitely be a lot at times, but is actually full of talent and kindness.
In fifth place, we have Dancer, a seemingly shy yet determined girl. As a reindeer at the front of Santa’s sleigh, Dancer is one of the fastest on the team. Additionally, Dancer is arguably one of the coolest names of the nine, showing off her striking personality. Between the two leaders, Dancer seems to be way more down to earth than Dasher, picking others up when they feel like they aren’t a valuable asset to the team because of their weaknesses. Similar to Dasher, Dancer is a total girl’s girl minus the ego, making her slightly higher in the ranks.
At number four, it’s the ‘legend,’ Rudolph. If you came here looking for Rudolph to be praised and ranked as the absolute best, you’re in the wrong place. Rudolph has a story that is obviously a Christmas classic, however, has become very overhyped throughout the years. In my opinion, besides the red nose, he has no other spectacular features that make him number one material. He truly seems like a loveable and charismatic reindeer, but also comes off as a try hard, attempting to impress Santa as the guiding light of the sleigh. Rudolph also appears to be the one that everyone else on the team doesn’t like, thinking he gets more special attention because of his nose.
We are officially in the top three!!! In third place, our compassionate and soulful Prancer. Though she has a ‘filler’ spot on the sleigh, not the fastest nor the strongest, Prancer has the drive and determination to be the best reindeer she possibly can be. Prancer truly seems like everyone’s best friend, the coolest and most chill girl. If Prancer were a student at John Adams, she’d be full IB and committed to an Ivy League school on a four year academic scholarship. Prancer is the girl everyone is jealous of because she lives her life to the fullest and does everything so effortlessly.
Coming in second is Blitzen, a strong and awesome girl! Not only is she next to Donner as one of the strongest reindeer on Santa’s team, she also has one of the absolute coolest names ever! There’s really not much more to say about her, other than she’s just a complete diva. Blitzen appears to be the peace keeper of the team, someone anyone can confide in. She’s a trustworthy, loyal and noble girl that acts as the glue on the sleigh and is the first one Santa would go to with any questions.
In first place, the one, the only, VIXEN!!!!!! That’s literally all, no explanation needed. Vixen not only has a FIRE name, but is the most awesome reindeer on Santa’s entire team. Vixen is too often forgotten and that just shouldn’t be. If you’ve ever seen “Christmas Chronicles,” Santa verbally states he forgot Vixen TWICE when going through all nine names. Vixen is my girl forever and that’s all I’ll say!
That concludes my ranking of Santa’s nine superb reindeer. I love all of them, truly, but in the end, Vixen comes out on top! Merry Christmas everyone and have the most amazing break!!!
