(WARNING: This article has a very heavy focus on suicide, grief, child loss, hate crimes, and the effect of transphobia as a whole. If you or a loved one are struggling with their mental health, please don’t be afraid to reach out for help. You are loved and you are wanted.
988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
1-866-488-7386 The Trevor Project’s LGBTQ Suicide and Crisis hotline)
Corei was an autistic 14 year-old transgender boy. He was a lover of giraffes, art, and Dr. Who, a brother to three, and a son. He was a kid. One that, like all of us, went to school, had his own interests and beliefs, had his favorite and least favorite classes. He always looked forward to a future in the medical industry. Corei was human, just like me, just like you, just like anyone you may pass or see even if just for a moment. He wasn’t famous, just a kid.
Corei was transgender, but before that he was human.
October 12th, 2023, Corei died. He didn’t die in an accident or from a medical condition. Corei took his own life. He died by suicide because everyday he endured brutal harassment online for his identity. I will not be sharing any of the heartbreaking photos, but they aren’t needed to understand the horrific circumstances.
In a collection of his final thoughts, he wrote to those who pushed him to the edge, “I forgive you, I only hope this teaches you to think more carefully about your actions. Protect trans youth, in my name.” Despite how much ruthless hate he was shown, he had his organs donated to those in need, hoping to save at least one life.
When announcing the death of her son, Rita Williams made a point to emphasize that his death shows the horrific reality of bigotry. Corei was accepted and deeply loved by friends and family, but the sheer amount of harassment and pain he endured from the world around him led to his death, which should never have happened with so much of his life ahead of him.
You would think that, in death, Corei would be given peace from what drove him to suicide, but when Rita posted about her son’s death, calling for people to take action against anti-trans hate, she was met with the very thing that took her son.
Like waves, she was flooded with hatred. The predominant response was this; that it was Rita’s fault her son died because she accepted and supported his trans identity. Rita, a woman who openly adores her son and loves him with everything she has, is being told that her loving him is what killed her son.
I feel like it should go without saying that loving your child no matter their identity is the very thing that saves so many lives. Transgender people face a suicide attempt rate of about 40%. Close to half of transgender people have attempted suicide, with 82% having contemplated suicide at some point in their life. Do you know what decreases a trans child’s chances of committing suicide? Acceptance. Transgender and Non-Binary youth who have accepting parents have 43% lower odds to commit suicide. This is not talking about gender affirming care, this is simply just having an openly accepting family. 86% of gender queer youth have reported that the rise in anti-LGBT hate has had a negative affect on their mental health, and that is just in 2021. For the past three years, as more people explore their gender identities, we have seen a significant rise in transgender hate. Over the past five years, a staggering 186% increase in transgender hate crimes (violence, hate speech, threats, and more) has been recorded in recent studies.
Rita Williams, a mother who loved her son Corei with no shame and did everything she could to support him was not, and never will be, the cause of her son’s death. His blood is on the hands of those who opposed his existence. His blood is just one drop into the growing stain of transphobic discrimination.
Corei is one of the many kids who have lost their lives to suicide this year alone, falling in with others including Riley Matthew Moscatel (17), Nova Dunn (14), Onyx John (13), Lucas a French middleschooler (13), Myles Fitzpatrick (15), Leelah Alcorn (17) and far too many more to count. This does not include the deaths of trans adults such as Eden Knight (23), Henry Berg-Brousseau (24), Maria Jose Rivera Rivera (22), and Kayleigh Scott (25). The 10 names mentioned along with Corei don’t even begin to scratch the surface of transgender deaths by suicide. What is even more scary is that these are just the suicides. Right along with suicides, murderous hate crimes run rampant, a notable case from this year being that of Brianna Ghey, a 16-year-old transgender girl who was stabbed to death by two of her classmates.
Do I need to mention that a fourth of Indiana transgender youth have attempted suicide?
There is a pattern here. A big one. One that makes individuals become statistics.
Why do we let so many transgender people die every day without their voices being shouted from rooftops? Why do so many ignore the violence transgender people endure? Why do so many remain stagnant as the numbers of my community fall each passing day?
When will we do better for transgender youth? When we’re all dead and gone? When you’ve scared us into hiding? When you decide that we’re worth fighting for?
As a transgender teen myself, no one will understand the pain of seeing things like this. The grief that haunts you whenever you get a chance to think. The frustration that no one around me seems to care or bat an eye while we’re forced to suffer in silence for their comfortability. I’m not saying people have to spend every moment of their lives talking about trans issues, I just want people to do more than listen. “Thoughts and prayers” will only get us so far without taking action.
Transgender people have been here forever, just as long as everyone else. We are your sons, daughters, and children. We are your peers. We are your students. We are your co-workers. We are your brothers, sisters, and siblings. We have the same blood you do in your veins, yet we are more likely to be left bleeding out. We don’t need anyone to die for us, but we need people to fight alongside us, not just idly cheering from the stands.
To Corei, a kid with a big heart, beloved by so many, I will not let you be forgotten. I will not let your name fade into a number and that number into a percentage that will keep people from seeing your light. When I feel I don’t have any fight left in me, I remember kids like Corei. Kids like Brianna and Nova. Kids who lived in a world too cruel for them to stay. I look at them, and I find my fight. The fight to keep being loud and proud when the world seems like it’s crumbling. The fight to love my trans identity that people love to hate. The fight to keep kids like me, like them, safe. When I say “my fight”, I don’t mean my will to live. I mean the courage I need to be myself and bring about change. It may seem small, but change starts in the voice of the few. I love life, and I want other trans kids like me to be able to see that beauty I treasure so deeply beyond the hate.
No kid should have to face a world that doesn’t want them. No kid should have to learn to “be strong” because of hate that shouldn’t happen in the first place.
We need to do better for trans kids and we need to do it now. There’s no sand in the hourglass anymore, no time ticking on the clock. Action is needed now and it is needed desperately.
Trans children deserve to grow up into trans adults. Rest easy, kiddo.
“Take this as an opportunity; be thankful for your family and friends because they are still here, though I may not be. Please please cherish life. Don’t take anyone or anything for granted. Don’t throw your life away” -Corei
Resources:
988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
1-866-488-7386 The Trevor Project’s LGBTQ Suicide and Crisis hotline
